The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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