Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
not ubering you a puppy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
