Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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