No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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