How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize
