shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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