Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
