I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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