Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
