Kiss
Puke
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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