What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
