turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
