She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
