who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My first STD was from a foam party
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
only if we run a train.
done.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
