Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
