you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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