Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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