I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
