i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
