I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize