Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We got so high we made milksteak
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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