Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
