Me too!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
