Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
