Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
