omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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