I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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