the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
