Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
