He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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