Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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