the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
