dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize