We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
