hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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