I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
