we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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