if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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