Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
