I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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