But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You smell like stripper and shame
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Randomize
