so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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