I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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