who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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