Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
