1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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