You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
