do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
