it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
