You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
