is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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