Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I met the friendliest cop last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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