Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
