Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
