Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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