Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dignity is for republicans.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you never un-have a 4some
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
