Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
