Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
