Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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