Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
