Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize