Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize