Please, let me fuck your mom
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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