Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize