He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
