I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
