That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
