While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
