so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
