We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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