saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
