you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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