Pappa wants mamma naked
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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